The film geek's Christmas party

Now that Christmas is just around the corner you can't walk very far before stumbling over some type of Christmas festivity, and that is after all what this season is all about. So, as a film enthusiast I came to thinking: if I could invite any movie characters to the best Christmas party ever who would they be. I'm sure you have had the same thought...or not. Nevertheless, here is my guest list for what would prove to be one of the more interesting of Christmas parties...if we where to remember any of it that is.

The most important aspect of any party, be it Christmas, Hanukkah or otherwise is to invite people who will bring life to your part. In other words, people who know how to party. Jabba the Hutt is a...guy who knows how to have a good time. Just by looking at him you can tell this is what he does best (well that and underworld dealings, which may or may not come in handy later on). With him comes plenty of booze, a good band and an armada of dancing alien women. The foundation is set, but we need party people and few can party like Austin Powers. With his 60's style of getting down his mere presence will be enough to make sure this is a party to remember. Go go dancers and strobe lights alone will get things started.

Just as important is it to have people who know how to drink and can hold their own and make sure the party goes on until the wee hours of the morning and you just can't go wrong with a Scotsman. William Wallace (Braveheart) is on the top of my list, just be careful later on as he might want to pick a fight in the name of freedom. We can of course not forget Wiliam's southern neighbors the British so Shaun (Shaun of the dead) is invited. A fun drinking mate to be sure and should some of the more drunken people (stumbling and moaning along) get out of hand he and his trusty cricket bat will deal with them. When we are talking about drinking and good times I would be hard pressed to miss the Hobbit foursome Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin who are no strangers to ail and much merriment. I would invite John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey (Wedding Crashers), but...well, they don't need one.

Any party is always greatly improved with some class. A certain thing the French call...I don't know what. First names that springs to mind is a certain Mr. Bond, Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) and The Merovingian (Matrix Reloaded). With these names on the guest list the party will greatly improve. But that's not enough, we need a celebrity to really have the party to end all parties and that can only mean one thing: Derek Zoolander. Not only is he a world famous male model but he is also really, really ridiculously good looking. And if we are lucky, I mean very very lucky he might bring his friend Billy Zane; he's a cool dude.

Now lets look at entertainment. Sure Jabba and his band is here, but its always good to have several kinds of music is alien baroque music isn't for everyone. Luckily The Blues Brothers are in town and should be more then happy to play at the party. It's also good to have someone who can tell a good story and who better then Forrest Gump. Now, later on some of the guests may start to get a little rowdy (I'm looking your way Hobbits) so best to find a way to take that aggression and focus it into something we can all enjoy. I talk of course about a Fight club. Now, I'm not sure who to invite Jack or Tyler Durden so I'll send one to both.

With alcohol comes the munchies and every good party need a good source of food. Pizza is all good and well, but I was thinking about something a little more elegance. Hannibal Lecter knows all about fine foods and if we ask politely. He always have the most exotic of ingredients.

These are dangerous times however and you never know when something bad is going to happen and a high end Christmas party is no exception. Enter security. Top of the list is of course John McClain who is no stranger to terrorism or a good Christmas party. Backing him up we were able to pick up a T-800 (Terminator) from the future and reprogram him for good instead of evil...or so I was told anyway.

This is a party that needs to be well documented and therefore Raoul Duke (Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. My interest here of course strictly in his journalism skills and in no way connected to the various drugs and acids he could bring to the table *cough*

A good party is also a party that has the various problems that can arise well in hand. Should we run out of alcohol then Frank Martin (The Transporter) to make beer runs and Ice Man (X-men) is of course invited should we ever run out of cheese flavored corn chips.

But this is turning into a real sausage fest, if you will pardon the term, so we need women. Like dad used to say: it's always good to have a tomb raider around should anyone lose their keys. I never really understood that, so I just invited Lara Croft instead. She purdy. Sue Storm (Fantastic 4) is invited for two good reasons and should Hannibal's cuisine not sit well with you Leeloo (The Fifth Element) said she would bring chicken. Alice (Closer) will provide some of the more adult entertainment with her years of stripping experience and Thelma and Louise will provide overall good times (just don't piss them off). Lastly I thought it would be wise to have someone with medical experience at the party should anything go wrong, so nurse Ratched (one flew over the Cuckoo's nest) will be present.

At the end of the night John Nash (A beautiful mind) will be there to figure out how much I owe the landlord in damages and Mario and Luigi (Super Mario Brothers) have been contracted for some much needed after party plumbing.

Yes sir this shapes up to be one heck of a party, but if that Harry Potter kid comes around tell him we're all full. Jack Torrance (The Shining) was invited, but he had to work. Maybe next year.

Earth: population 0.

It is not often that I will find a documentary that truly captivates me the way History channel's 'Life after people' has. To surmise it shortly it is a documentary about how life on Earth would develop if we humans should all of a sudden vanish from the face of the Earth and the results are staggering. You might think that if we as a species would die tomorrow there would be plenty of evidence that we existed for whomever would come after us. But as the documentary exposes this is not so certain.
The documentary goes from 1 day after people to 10 thousand years after people and it is staggering how fast, in cosmic terms at least, any trace of us as a species would vanish from the face of the earth. First things to go is electricity which would, with exception of whatever parts of the USA Hoover dam keeps lit, would go away withing 36 hours. Our pets would become feral and withing a couple of years buildings would begin to crumble and nature start taking back its territories. I guess spoilers are in order, but according to this documentary all signs of life on Earth would vanish within ten thousand years, which might seem allot to you and me is an insignificant number in the cosmic whole.

This becomes a rather short post, but if what I have told you here intrigues you then either pick up the book "the world without us" or check out the documentary *Life after people."